Month: April 2017

Debt Free Journey

Before January 1st I wasn’t saving HARDLY anything in 401k, to build a home, fully saving anything towards my Son’s future, roth IRA, and the list goes on. December I made a list of WHERE I need to save for the FUTURE.

Then my Fiance and I agreed on starting an online savings account (not easily accessible and the best growing interest rate we could find) towards a home. We have a 5 year plan. Annually together we can Save $23,000 base, and anything extra throw that way. In five years we plan to have $130,000. That will allow us to build our forever home debt free.

But, I have consumer debt. I use to charge and buy stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff and pay it off. That wasn’t hard or unbelievable when I wasn’t saving. Come Savings time I still had old debt and bad habits, that guess what? I can’t pay off so quickly anymore. Each charge was taking 3 times as long to pay down. Now, can I stop all the savings and knock it out? Yep. But I will not. I did this, I’ll get my way out of it. Slowly, or as quickly as possible as I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. I actually got it alllll down to $3000 but I car issues and distributed over 2 cars to fix. Now this will show you what I owe and where. This does not include my FIXED living expenses because they cannot be changed and are budgeted out. This is all my variables (I save roughly 15% in my 401k too). I make $50,000 average a year. I plan on being debt free by January 2018. One year from the beginning of my journey.

dumbdebt

I get paid next Friday. With that said I need gas, a tire repair, a renew on tags for a car, and groceries on $400 until Friday.

Not unreachable. Just coasting to pay day. I want to never coast but here I am. I want to build wealth :)! I’ve started to completely follow Dave Ramsey’s plan. I’m an avid listener, but not a true listener, know what I mean? Oh yeah I hear his commonsense teachings DAILY but this girl is doing it her own way. And guess what, my way isn’t working out! Hasn’t been! I get upset I am not seeing results because I’m not listening. Last paycheck I put the $1000 into an emergency savings fund. Step one-complete. Now onto Step two. List all debts and make minimum payments while knocking the smallest to biggest out (snowball effect) until debt free. GET RID OF THE CARDS AND ACQUIRE NO NEW DEBT. I cannot wait until I am out of step two.

It took a long while but my spending habits are horrible. Really just stupid. I made a budget but never stuck to it. I’ve done very well since January because it was compared to better than I was before. I still am not where I need to be.

  • Make budget, every last dollar, and stick to it.
  • Research upcoming vacation location price all activities and restaurants, and find coupons along with work out meal plan and items to bring.  Put in spread sheet.
  • Make two freezer meals per week.
  • Inventory freezers & meal plan for the next 7 days.
  • Make any products needed before buying. When buying stick to generic brands (so hard for some people in my house.)
  • DO NOT GO TO THE STORE OR NURSERIES (it’s garden season) unless dire. Avoid all money spending situations.

I’m trying to teach myself to have an emotional connection to my money and not the stuff I buy with the money. This has been the hardest. Stuff fills an emotion and I get this buzz and high from new things. But I go home and there is so much stuff and the new things become stuff too and I’m upset I have so much. It’s a vicious cycle I’m working on. May the month of May be my month!

30.

itsperfect

Next month, heck not even in 30 days I will be 30!

No big deal. Wrong! It is. I’m going through this crazy emotional roller coaster.  Crazier than normal! This time around I realize why. Not something that happens often. Generally I feel crazy go crazy, and in two weeks stuff it all down and forget about it! The over all big picture “why” came to me recently.

In this new year I vowed to turn my life around. BE. Be productive, save more, pay debt, be a better mom/fiance, and the list goes on. Bound and determined I was going to make everything better and everything and everyone would be happy. I started this blog. A new instagram. I got off my social media accounts. I was living more frugal, paying debts down, cutting coupons, seeing friends and family more. The list went on. Life is good, why am I unhappy?!!! Everything is going so good! WHY? What the hell? Every good step I personally felt two steps backwards.

My life is good.

Cleaning out a desk I found journals. They’re mine from over the years. I read the entries. I had some short term, some long term, but all from the last 10 years. And I cried this ugly cry. Here I am at 29 STILL writing lists and journals about being unhappy. Everything I want to change is about myself. I focus on every thing and every one around me and never ever everrrrr do I focus on myself.  Yeah, I know that is pretty typical of most women and moms. But it made me sad that 10 years ago my life was in the gutter low down and I was lost. (That’s another story for another day) and here I sit today turned all around and still feeling that feeling I felt then.

I’ve managed to change everything I wanted; but myself. It’s so odd but until that moment I never realized how disappointed I was and letting myself down. Here is the reason every goal I accomplish externally the person internally I’m still so sad.

I started this online blog to document. My life, my debt free journey, the road to building a home, I’ll be getting married, and so on. But never felt like I deserved it. Isn’t that odd? I feel like a fraud–I don’t deserve a good life. There are times I sit in front of my laptop and try to write random posts but stop because who am I to tell anyone anything? I can’t write about anything going good because I don’t feel “good.”

Oh, I’m not trying to write and bore anyone with woe is me. I am generally happy. And for it’s worth I’m actually REALLY proud of the things I have accomplished!

Turning 30 I promise these next ten years I will focus on myself. Take care of myself. Love myself. Make time for myself. So when I am 40 and reading back I can write what I did and not what to change!

My 30 for 30.

(things to accomplish of the first years of my 30’s!)

  1. Join a gym/make time to better your health. Allow myself the time to workout at least 4 times a day. No matter how busy life is I’m allowed to put other things on the back burner to do something for myself TIME wise that betters my health. Which in turn will help me lose 35 pounds I’ve been writing about for 10 years.
  2. Try bangs.
  3. Hike to a waterfall.
  4. Get a promotion at work.
  5. Vacation on a beach.
  6. Learn how to bake—something (I’m really awful at baking)
  7. Be able to run a mile straight, nonstop. I don’t care if it takes 45 minutes I just don’t want to have to stop!
  8. Find a way to make a girls weekend with my best friends.
  9. Renew a will and find a better insurance policy.
  10. Get a passport.
  11. Grow my garden and really utilize it and preserve it.
  12. Find my style–and remove allllllll clothing I DO NOT WEAR.
  13.  Volunteer. Do 12 good deeds.
  14. Update my wordpress weekly. Document this good life!
  15. Do everything I can to increase the amount of money going into the building a home fund! The end of year goals is $23k, try and up it by $3k!
  16. Weekly, no matter where, keep a gratitude journal/post. Always remember there is something to be grateful for!
  17. Stop Comparing yourself to others.
  18. Stop spending money on others. Stop being the one who PAYS for everything!
  19. Learn how to make coffee beverages at home besides just coffee!
  20. Create a routine to prioritize my time better.
  21. Create myself a clean and happy work place.
  22. Find a side business I enjoy.
  23. Learn to eat breakfast even if it is a smoothie.
  24. Be more present in my every day, the past is over!
  25. Budget hair and pedicures into the budget 🙂
  26. love myself.
  27. love myself.
  28. love myself.
  29. love myself.
  30.  Remember: to love myself.

What is wrong, can be fixed.

I am a mom, a fiance, a fulltime employee  (some times 64 hours+ work weeks), daughter, sister, and so much much.

I started a change in my life around 3 months ago. Not sure what needed changing but I knew I wasn’t happy.

How could someone have a good life, good family, and a good job….the elements to “being happy”—- that mind you felt like years to get to, be so dang miserable? Is it like poison this misery? I’m just forever miserable because I’ve lived through so much misery? Am I just a depressed individual? What am I doing wrong? Why do I feel like I am failing at every area of my life?!!!

You live only once, and you will die. 

That’s just the truth of the matter. The only question is when? On my 40 minute commute to work I thought about how much I overcame, and how if I were to go right now I would have told myself shut up and change what is wrong. I’m human, flawed, and most defintely not perfect. Reminiscing about things that ARE good, I found myself in a state of gratitude. 

I also made a decision. 

Grow, or die. 

I can grow every single day, or like a plant with out water or sunlight….start to go slowly. 

I’m an introvert but also very highly motivated by life. It’s completely complex! When I started this “blog” I wanted to find a connection but what I really want o use it from this moment on is documentation of my journey. 

Because,  this isn’t the end or middle but a whole new beginning.