Month: June 2017

Made a budget, day one… blew the budget.

Pay day was Friday so I decided to take every cent I could possibly and throw it on debt. That meant making a budget, and to stick to it!

From June 23rd to July 7th I had $311.19 to last. (all bills paid, this was the other items that are variable by my own doing)

  • $100 groceries
  • $100 gas
  • $30 towards a school uniform fund (a few short weeks away)
  • $30 oil change
  • $30 buffer
  • $21 pets (if needed or stack in away if not needed)


I made it until Tuesday before spending anything. I made a list of what to get and where to go.

The first stop on the list Sam’s Club.  Budget estimate $45.00

  • garbage bags
  • coffee
  • paper towels

I walked out spending $256.00 it doesn’t matter if I used a credit or debit card, or even cash. I walked my items to my car and got in it. I had instant high/comedown/regret.

“I have a problem.”


First Problem: I spend more than I make. (If I made $2k or $100k a month— I would spend it & then some.)

Second Problem: There is no difference in Need or Want with me. I want it, so it’s a need. I rationalize everything. It’s my money. I spent that much but I won’t need these items for like so long now. I’ll do better next time. This is hard if someone helped me I’d do better. We need ribeyes and bags of avocados, NEED it.

Sitting in the car with my bulk items of excessive want I didn’t even fool myself saying “I’ll do better next time.” Because that is a lie!

I’m done lying to myself. 

I have account (I love it!). It syncs all your bills, accounts, and etc and shows you who you are financially. I’ve avoided the app for months it seems. I worked really hard and updated every account and info. As I trudged along and my stomach sinking every account screaming “debt debt debt”….. it hit me hard, like really breath *gasp* is this who I really am moment? I hit the link that said number of transactions I’ve made 893 Transactions since January. This is every bill, every swipe, gallon of milk, gas, shopping trip. It could be amounts in dollars or hundreds…. This is the 108th day of the year that means I’ve averaged 8.3 transactions a day.  Then I cried. Then I got really sick to my stomach.  It was like being exposed for the first time. I have a problem.

It’s not only financially this is more! So. I did some soul searching, some number crunching. This has to change, this is going to change. I know my why. I have to define my how.

I’m making a plan. And I WILL stick to it.

Brookgreen Gardens

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 

I believe it is $16 a ticket. I bought a groupon for four people for $35. It is one of the most gorgeous places to walk around and get lost. No matter what camera you use the scene setting is glorious no matter the skill. The best part your ticketsare good for 7 days! You can visit over and over!

Summer Project List

  • Repaint Kitchen
  • Organize Kitchen cabinets
  • go threw Freezers, fridge, and shelves and itemize all food items—create menu plan from it
  • keep the garden up and make sure to utilize all items out of it
  • makeover front yard landscape with items we have and using pine needle mulch gathered from the park (basically no money spent)
  • makeover the mailbox
  • clean Eli’s room and completely go through all of Eli’s clothes and get rid of not fitting or never worn items
  • Take apart and clean oven (ughhh)
  • clean carports
  • create a gardening work bench for under $20
  • create a home binder
  • get new SS cards (ours are worn under a water accident lol)
  • get Eli his own savings account…. 11 is almost too big to keep throwing his money in a piggy bank
  • make (& trial and error–find what works for me) DIY home cleaners
  • makeover this side of the carport that is hideous and no one sees but still needs tlc grosssideyard

Lazy weekend. Still got a to-do list!

I totally did A LOT of nothing these last few days. Over the last two weeks I’ve been set on go go go mode that doing actually anything is so nice! I’ve been sticking to my low carb meal plan however the money part… not so much. I spent $17 on lunch Friday, $9 on a birthday gift for Corey’s mom, and $11 for 3 months of Spotify.  I previously cancelled it but it is something I totallllly use and have been missing. They sent me an email offering 3 months for the price of one. If in three months I don’t use it (every day I promise I do) at least 3-4 times a week I’ll cancel it again.

These past few days have included binge watching Master of None on Netflix with my cat, naps, and front porch sitting.
With that said, vacation is over, being a bum is over, and back to work tomorrow!

I did spend time working a budget and realizing  I need to convert to cash instead of a debit card. It’s hard with me to part with dollars but when I swipe my card it’s no second thought. Example: If I go into the store it a sole amount I CANNOT go over, I focus on the budget, and stay within it because there is nothing more. If I use a card with a set amount…. if I go over, it’ll be okay… I don’t watch it as closely. I’ve been re-reading my Dave Ramsey books and assigning every dollar as well. We have to expenses coming up. We’re investing in a $400 air conditioning unit probably… our house unit (depsite having it looked at) will not keep up. Our house is so hot, it’s constantly blowing, not cooling down and our electric bill is going sky high. June-August are our highest bills. If we convert 3 rooms to window units during those months and isolate the air we can keep it cooler and cheaper. We hope. Also, my dog is going to the vet tomorrow. She’s having a skin condition and it’s looking realllllly bad. I don’t yet know what it will cost. I don’t care at this point she needs help and relief.




This is my current amount of debt. I’ve listed them from smallest to largest. If you follow Dave Ramsey’s baby steps, you pay the minimum on each and knock out the smallest to largest gaining momentum.

Not only am I an idiot and spending so much in “payments” I have to allot for my monthly expenses:

  • Home Bills $850
  • Phone $211
  • Insurance $115
  • Gas $260
  • Car Maintenance $30
  • Pets $200
  • School expenses (Eli isn’t home but not I’m setting aside money for new uniforms, shoes, supplies, and lunch money when he is home!) $180
  • Unnecessary but oh so necessary bills: Netflix, Hulu, Spotify $35
  • Groceries $600-700 including eating out.

GROSS. I am out of control to be honest. The lack of planning and being lazy reflects in that. Summer shape up is in demand. I need to get everything in order before a life event happens and puts me under. That is the absolute truth.

New Budget:

Home Bills $650
Phone $211
Insurance $115
Gas $260
Car Maintenance $30
Pets $100
School expenses (Eli isn’t home but not I’m setting aside money for new uniforms, shoes, supplies, and lunch money when he is home!) $125
Unnecessary but oh so necessary bills: Netflix, Hulu, Spotify $35
Groceries $425 (Eliminating eating out. We average this past month & half 2-4 times a week)


  • Write it out on paper, along with your motivations, obstacles, and strategies for overcoming them.

I am currently 191.4 lbs, and $7,500 in debt. Wow, it felt really gross, shameful, and weird to say aloud. Publicly. I’ve detailed a low carb meal plan. My house is stocked and I’m ready to go. I’ve got two walking areas in my neighborhood. I’ve downloaded couch to 5k (I like this program). I got my fitbit. I have a goal notebook. I’ve got my partner on for accountability. I have detail plans for a when, what, and where. I’ve gathered all my credit cards. I’ve put them in an envelope and asked my mom to hold on to them. I cut a few up but the big ones I haven’t yet. I have zero access from them and I deleted all of the saved cards from my phone.

  • Commit fully, in a public way.
  • Log your progress.
  • Remain publicly accountable — report on your progress each day.
  • Have support for when you falter — either in real life or online.
  • Reward every little success.
  • If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again.

I feel so ready to make a change.

Sitting on the sidelines.

We just got home from vacation. We went to Myrtle Beach. Despite being a tourist trap it was BEAUTIFUL weather and not crowded (except hotel pools–but I don’t go in them anyway).

I’ve been fighting depression lately. To be honest I haven’t felt this overwhelming feeling so strong for so long. It was here, and suddenly it’s been days on days and I’m so sad and lonely in the most amazing moments of my life next to people I love the most in my life. If being depressed isn’t enough it’s stealing these moments of my life that I work so hard to be in.

During vacation I took many long walks by myself next to the sea in morning and night almost daily. My issue lie within myself. I do so much all the time and I am on the back burner of it all. This is the same story I write. And the same one I’ve written for ten years. The details change here or there may be different sometimes but the story line is the same.

After getting home from vacation I was home one day and drove to Chicago for a whole 5 hours in the city to drop my son off. He spends his summers with his dad. I usually never do anything but work as much as possible, garden some, and just sit on the couch. Watch all the netflix. Go shopping. And waste time until Eli comes back home. This summer I plan to utilize the time I am given.

Every day is a battle with myself about my self. My weight, and my debt.

Blogging is a form of documentation for me, but maybe now it can help me be more accountable for both.

Weight loss & debt…. two so very fixable problems! Lord I could sit here and pray to get rid of horrific disease but instead I lay in bed scrolling through instagram wishing I lost this weight I’ve been crying about for a decade like there is nothing I can do.

No more time should be wasted! I’m sick of being disgusted. Life is full of chances, life is full of opportunities, and there are many moments we can create! Maybe its the momentum talking… but I came home out of the fog of my own sadness for the first time in a few months. And even if it is momentarily it’s a good moment.

Weight loss & Debt loss, effective immediately.

Create a plan. Clear decisive goals. Completed with dates. Devise a short term- strategy.  Find mentors, or a community, accountability person, or any one who can support you with similar goals! Be realistic. Never give up.