Pay day was Friday so I decided to take every cent I could possibly and throw it on debt. That meant making a budget, and to stick to it!
From June 23rd to July 7th I had $311.19 to last. (all bills paid, this was the other items that are variable by my own doing)
- $100 groceries
- $100 gas
- $30 towards a school uniform fund (a few short weeks away)
- $30 oil change
- $30 buffer
- $21 pets (if needed or stack in away if not needed)
I made it until Tuesday before spending anything. I made a list of what to get and where to go.
The first stop on the list Sam’s Club. Budget estimate $45.00
- garbage bags
- paper towels
I walked out spending $256.00 it doesn’t matter if I used a credit or debit card, or even cash. I walked my items to my car and got in it. I had instant high/comedown/regret.
“I have a problem.”
I AM MY OWN PROBLEM.
First Problem: I spend more than I make. (If I made $2k or $100k a month— I would spend it & then some.)
Second Problem: There is no difference in Need or Want with me. I want it, so it’s a need. I rationalize everything. It’s my money. I spent that much but I won’t need these items for like so long now. I’ll do better next time. This is hard if someone helped me I’d do better. We need ribeyes and bags of avocados, NEED it.
Sitting in the car with my bulk items of excessive want I didn’t even fool myself saying “I’ll do better next time.” Because that is a lie!
I’m done lying to myself.
I have Mint.com account (I love it!). It syncs all your bills, accounts, and etc and shows you who you are financially. I’ve avoided the app for months it seems. I worked really hard and updated every account and info. As I trudged along and my stomach sinking every account screaming “debt debt debt”….. it hit me hard, like really breath *gasp* is this who I really am moment? I hit the link that said number of transactions I’ve made 893 Transactions since January. This is every bill, every swipe, gallon of milk, gas, shopping trip. It could be amounts in dollars or hundreds…. This is the 108th day of the year that means I’ve averaged 8.3 transactions a day. Then I cried. Then I got really sick to my stomach. It was like being exposed for the first time. I have a problem.
It’s not only financially this is more! So. I did some soul searching, some number crunching. This has to change, this is going to change. I know my why. I have to define my how.
I’m making a plan. And I WILL stick to it.